Where The Dads Are ~ New PEPS Group will connect Seattle-area stay-at-home dads
~ By Shawna Gamache
Chris Casazza withsons Peter, 10 and Parker, 7
The life of a stay-at-home dad can be isolating, but PEPS and Seattle dad Chris Casazza are on a mission to change that.
Starting this month, Casazza, a licensed counselor and stay-at-home dad, will be leading the first PEPS group just for primary caregiver dads. Casazza worked with PEPS Program Director Mary Power to create PEPS for Dads, aimed at helping dads build confidence and form a much-needed support network.
Casazza wants to help fathers like himself find each other and embrace their new identities. “When you start doing this, you realize how important community is; that you can't do this alone,” said Casazza, who has been the primary caretaker of his two sons for more than seven years. “When I was (first) doing it, I wished there was a group like this.”
Casazza said he initially made friends with mothers in his wife’s PEPS group, which she attended while on maternity leave when Casazza was a grad student. He said he approached PEPS to create the dads program because the PEPS format has proven to be so successful in providing the support network that is so crucial for all new parents.
Casazza said there are few options in Seattle for new dads to meet and connect.
“When I did find another stay-at-home dad, I'd just glom onto him and start talking to him,” he said. “it's just like this magnetism that you want to know how they're doing it.”
Dads participating in PEPS typically meet along with their wives in evening couples groups, or in a daytime group made up primarily of moms. Although that works great for some Dads and PEPS welcomes dads to join any PEPS Group, it may not be ideal, said PEPS Volunteer Manager Cate Palmer.“It's a different social group--they are dads and they have distinct needs,” Palmer said. “We know there are plenty of guys out there interested in connecting with other dads.”
It’s hard for any new parent to find their footing, but Casazza said stay-at-home dads often need to overcome feelings of embarrassment and inferiority.
“My passion is really about giving dads a voice in all this and saying don't be ashamed,” said Casazza. “When you own (the decision), you realize how great it is.”
One of the PEPS for Dads Group's first topic discussions will be “I'm Not Mr. Mom: Finding Your New Identity,” which was created by Casazza to supplement the current curriculum used by all PEPS Groups. The PEPS for Dads Group will also discuss topics that are standard for all PEPS Groups, including infant sleep, feeding and parental emotional changes.
The January group will meet Mondays at noon at Twirl Cafe on Queen Anne. The Group is open to dads of babies up to one-year-old.
The Group will be offered quarterly and may also be offered in different locations, depending on the response, Power said.
"This first group was almost at capacity within a few weeks of us opening the registration, so we think we have definitely tapped into a need here in our area," she said. Registration and a program fee is required to join any PEPS Group, and scholarships are available.
Casazza said he hopes dads in the group will build a great support network and develop pride in their contributions as stay-at-home fathers. “I feel lucky that I'm able to do this,” Casazza said. “To be able to have this kind of relationship with your kids is important.”
More information on the PEPS for Dads Group can be found here.
About The Author
Shawna Gamache is a PEPS volunteer and stay-at-home mom to daughters Quinn and Ruby. Her blog, MomsAlive, recently was voted Best Mom Blog in ParentMap’s Golden Teddy Awards. She still meets every other week with her PEPS Group.
